


The Sin You Carve, the Blood You Shed

by OneforSorrowTwoforMirth



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alphonse Elric And Cats, Alphonse taking care of Ed, Dealing with past trauma, Ed has an oldest sibling god complex, Family Feels, Gen, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Restored Alphonse Elric, Sick Edward Elric, implied edwin, izumi is soft for like a minute, pandemic in Resembool, someone help this boy, winry is having about none of ed's nonsense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-01-26 07:00:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21370069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneforSorrowTwoforMirth/pseuds/OneforSorrowTwoforMirth
Summary: The Elric brothers return to Resembool at the end of FMA:B only face a new set of challenges. Alphonse struggles with what it means to be an embodied human while Edward wrestles with his guilt. As an epidemic spreads through Resembool, the brothers find their roles swapped, with Al put in the position of saving his brother.
Relationships: Alphonse Elric & Edward Elric
Comments: 22
Kudos: 129





	1. Fingerprints

**Real quick, I do want to throw my own warning on this one: blood, PTSD, self harm. Really, it's just this first chapter. With that said, please enjoy!**

Alphonse Elric must've been five or six when he'd first noticed his fingerprints. Mom had pulled him into her lap and spread his little fingers out next to hers. He'd observed the patterns of slanting lines and curving swirls with delight.

"Everyone's are different," she'd told him, "There are no two people with the same pattern. Even if there was another little boy with your same hair, eyes, and even your name, no other little boy has the same fingers."

"Not even brother?"

"Not even him. You're my one and only Alphonse." She'd hugged him and nuzzled the top of his head.

Al wasn't sure what had drawn him to the patterns. Maybe because alchemy had so many patterns; you have to understand the patterns in order to understand how matter works. He felt a little pang of nostalgia. Funny thing, feeling. He'd spent so long not being able to do that. In his armor, he'd known how things were supposed to feel. He'd still 'felt' emotions...or at least he'd felt a shadow of them. What was the use if he couldn't smile when he laughed, or cry when he was sad, or blush when embarrassed? He couldn't be held when he was scared or give comfort when his arms were made of leather and iron.

Ed grunted in his sleep and rolled over. Al looked up from where he crouched on the floor. His back ached, but it had been his usual position for those years trapped inside an iron shell, unable to sleep. He'd watched over his brother sleeping instead. He'd watched Ed do all the things that embodied humans could: weep, grin, scowl, shiver...bleed. His brother had done a lot of that. Al looked down at his bare feet, toes splayed out on the rough floor. The light of the moon was enough to let him see them. He'd taken for granted how weird human toes looked. He drew his knees up to his chest and locked his arm around them, rocking back and forth a little. The moon's rays caught something shiny poking out from under Ed's bed. Al nudged it out with his toe.

It was a fountain pen, a pen from their father's study. The thought of Hoenheim twinged painfully, like a nerve. For brother, he knew the feelings were complicated. For himself, they were just sad. He didn't know Edward had kept anything from their father's study. Al ran his finger along the pen's metal nib. It was sharp. He pressed it into his finger until the edges of the metal imprinted into it. He liked the cold of the metal, the solid feeling of the sides.

He dug it in again, biting his lip and making no sound as red welled up around it like spilled ink. He pulled away the pen and pressed on the skin, causing crimson tears of blood to burst and roll down his finger. Is this what it was to bleed? It hardly hurt like Alphonse remembered. Why didn't it hurt more? Why didn't he feel something? He placed the pen tip in the blood, drawing a line down his finger, towards the palm of his hand, amazed at how bold and thick the line ran. He pulled the line all the way down to his wrist. He etched another mark, this one tracing a line running horizontal on his palm, watching the skin split and red spread through the grooves of his hands like water filling a canal. He drew until his whole hand became a lake, spilling over and running down the back of his hand.

_Why don't I feel more? _

Somewhere above him, someone moved. He dragged his eyes away and looked up.

_Oh… _

Ed's sleepy eyes met his own and Al watched, detached, as those eyes grew wide with horror.

"Al! What's - who - what the hell?"

Edward scrambled out of bed, snatched the pen from his brother's hand, grabbed him by the wrist, and dragged him toward the bathroom, supporting his brother as his still-weak legs struggled to move the way they were supposed to. Al felt like he was watching from far away, only catching every few words his brother was saying.

"Alphonse? Al, are you even listening to me?!" Ed grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him, "Hey! Snap out of it! Why the hell would you do that?"

Al struggled to form words, his tongue felt heavy, "I...I don't know…"

He glanced at the mirror. His haggard reflection reminded him. No. I'm here. I'm really here. His hand throbbed painfully and he gasped, just realizing it.

"Brother?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I just - I don't know what I did -" he reached for the sink to support himself and cried out as he grabbed it with his injured hand.

Ed said nothing and turned on the sink. A moment ago, everything had been muted and blurred. Now, his senses threatened to overwhelm him. The pain in his hand shrieked like a siren in his brain, he felt his lack of sleep crash down on him all at once, his eyes itched, his hands shook. The sound of water in the sink was deafening, his brother's hand on his wrist burned. His own breathing sounded loud in his ears. Al tried to steady himself, tried to find a place to sit but felt his knees buckling before he could.

"Whoa, whoa I gotcha." Ed eased him down on the side of the bathtub. "Just sit here, ok?"

Al groaned. Ed cleaned his hand with a wet towel and put pressure on it, Al wincing at every movement. Finally, when Ed seemed satisfied, he led his brother back to his bed.

"Here," he pulled the pillows off his own bed and stacked them on Al's bedside table, "Keep your hand elevated." They were silent for a time, Ed sitting on the end of Al's bed. "You know, sometimes I forget you can get hurt. Physically, I mean."

"Me too," Al whispered, "I wanted to remember."

"But why the hell would you do that?"

"I wanted to remember," Al repeated, "I wanted to remember what it felt like to be human."

"You think bleeding is being human?" Ed scoffed, "Al, you idiot. Being human is more than pain!"

"I'm sorry, brother."

Ed softened, "I know, Al. I understand. Just don't do that again." They sat in silence again, Ed running his fingers through his long hair and staring out the window. Al looked at his hand. The bandages were already turning red in a few places.

Ed turned to him. "I never really asked you...when you woke up, after I put you in that armor, how did you do it? I mean, you managed to carry me all the way to Granny and Winry's house even though you'd never used that body before."

"I don't know…" 

_He hadn't been on this side of the room - what happened to the circle? The darkness - those groping hands_ _dragging him down -_

"I was kinda confused. I couldn't really remember what happened…"

_Mom! Where was she? He tried to move, to speak, he saw everything upside down. Across from him he could see brother - why did he look so scared? He tried to scream, help! Help me brother! He reached out and gasped, horrified as a decaying arm flopped into view, blood spraying from his mouth. Then everything was dark again._

"I was in the middle of the circle, I didn't understand what that meant until I opened my eyes again and I was in a different part of the room."

Ed looked back out the window. "Did you notice the armor right away?"

"No...not really."

"What did you notice?"

"You, brother. You were next to me and...hurt."

_What was that blood? He turned his head, creaking metal rang in his ears. That was brother. Brother! Ed half opened a bloodshot eye. Was that Ed's - the stuff flowed freely from his brother's ragged shoulder and knee. Al immediately reached out for him; why did his hands feel so clumsy and heavy?_

Al continued, "When I tried to lift you, it was easy. When I stood up, I was so much taller. But I didn't really have time to think about it. All I could think of was getting you to safety." 

_They rushed brother off into the next room and he started to follow when he caught something moving out of the corner of his eye. He whirled, losing his balance and crashing to the ground. He tried to stand up, grabbed the corner of the hall table and nearly pulled it down onto himself. Unsteadily, he rose and found himself staring at a suit of armor. He shrank away. So did the armor. He slowly raised a hand. So did the armor. Wait...he'd seen this armor. It was from father's study. That was… "Al?" Winry poked her head out of the door. "Al, is that you?" "I - I don't know." Had his voice sounded that tinny this whole time? "Ed said...I think I understand now." She came closer. "Al, it's going to be ok." "What's going on?" But he knew. He knew what Ed must've done. But he didn't want it to be true._

"You were sleeping for a while. You didn't hear me crashing around the house all night. I kept knocking things over. Winry had to help me figure it out…"

_He looked in the mirror at the empty armor, staring at the seal. His brother's blood. If he'd had hands, they would've been shaking. If he'd had tears, they would have fallen. But there was nothing._

"I'm sorry, Al," Ed whispered.

"You've said that a hundred times, brother."

"I know. But I still mean it."


	2. Downstream

Al didn't wake until he heard the shop bell ring downstairs. Rubbing his eyes, he sat up and glanced over at Ed's bed. His brother was already gone, probably to bother Winry. His hand flared up in pain as kicked off the covers.

_Oh...right. _

Carefully, he got out of bed, feeling a little disoriented. It happened from time to time, the same feeling he'd gotten when his soul had been pulled to his body in the gate. He'd learned not to panic, to remind himself that he was here, in his body. Still, he couldn't help the sharp spike of anxiety he felt. He grabbed his crutch, not trusting his legs this morning. It had been more than a month since they'd returned to Resembool, and his legs were gathering strength fast but he still needed help with balance, especially when it came to stairs. He was halfway down when he heard Ed and Winry in the dining room.

"Hold still!" Winry giggled, "You got flour in your hair."

"Well it's not my fault you spilled it all over the table!"

"I didn't spill it! It's so you can roll out the crust, Ed. I just explained that, weren't you paying attention?"

Alphonse smiled to himself. Brother was more distracted around Winry every day, it seemed. He caught him glancing at her when she wasn't looking, blushing when she asked him questions. Al was about to go back upstairs and let the pair of them have a little more time when he heard Ed say,

"No. Sorry, I wasn't paying attention."

"What's on your mind?"

He sighed, "It's Al."

"What about him?"

"I don't know if he's getting better."

"He's up and walking, he hardly has to use the crutches anymore! Give it a few more weeks."

"No, I don't mean physically." Ed sighed again, "I mean, if you were stuck without a real body for as long as he was...I guess I should've guessed there'd be some consequences. Equivalent exchange," he added bitterly.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing. Show me how to roll the crust again."

"Did something happen?"

Edward paused then lowered his voice, but Al could still hear from the stairs,

"Last night...I don't know what woke me up, but Al was sitting by the window like he used to when he was in his armor. He...he cut his hand up with a pen and just stared at it, watching it bleed. The cuts weren't that deep but for a second," Ed trailed off, his voice a little shaky, "For a second I saw the portal again, saw him dissolving into it. He kept watching himself bleed. I don't think he could feel it. And I've been thinking...I mean, I'm worried. I know he'll heal, physically. But what if...what if what I did to him - what if he can't ever be the same again? What if, even though I got his body back -"

Winry's chair creaked as she leaned forward, "Ed. Stop it. You and Al have only had your bodies for a few months. You need to give it more time."

"But what if-"

"No. Stop. You start thinking like that and you'll get nowhere. We can talk to Alphonse later, ok? For now, let's finish this pie." Al slipped back upstairs. 

Al took his afternoon walk by himself. Sometimes brother came along, but he went out before Ed noticed. He didn't want to talk about last night, he just wanted to be alone. He was pretty sure Granny saw him go, but she wouldn't tell Ed. She understood. He still felt exhilarated every time the breeze ruffled his hair and the grass tickled his skin. He went without shoes, like he usually did, just to feel the dirt of the road beneath his feet. It was slow going with his crutch but he hardly cared.

That was the best part of Resembool. There were no Central City crowds and chaos, there weren't even any motorcars yet. He got to the bridge. Up ahead he could see a few people coming down the road. Normally, he would've waited to see who it was, but instead he hobbled off the road down a little overgrown path that led to the river. Now that he wasn't a giant suit of armor, it was much easier to hide. He heard whoever it was pass by over head.

He started to muster up the energy to stand back up when he heard a tiny meow. Al looked over his shoulder. It came again. He took a few steps toward the sound. It came again, this time louder. Stumbling a little on the uneven riverbank, he made his way toward the sound. The banks were muddy, the river was very high this year and the current fast. He spotted the source of the noise on a dead snag in the middle of the water. It was dirty, shivering kitten.

"Don't worry!" he called, "I'll help you!" He took a few steps into the mud and carefully felt in front of him with his crutch. He waded in slowly, up to his knees, until he was only a foot away from the creature. He lurched forward and steadied himself on the snag. He grit his teeth; that was his injured hand.

"Come on, don't be afraid," he tried to coax the kitten, reaching up with one hand, keeping a firm hold of his crutch with the other. The animal mewled and inched back.

"Come on," he reached up and caught it by the scruff. "There you go, it's ok," he cradled it to his chest. One of its tiny claws sunk into his hand. He winced, but didn't drop it.

"Now, how did you end up down here, hm?"

He took several steps back toward the bank. A loose rock shifted beneath him. He staggered, his leg buckling, bringing him painfully to his knees. The skittish animal sprang from his grasp and scratched him across the chest in its haste to get away. By some miracle, it scrambled onto shore. Al got to his feet, leaning heavily on his crutch. He could feel his leg muscles spasm as he tried to get them moving. He took a step, but his legs were unsteady. His crutch slipped again, this time between two rocks. Al heard a loud snap and then crashed face first into the water. The current dragged him down, ripping away any solid ground and before he even had time to register why everything was so cold, Alphonse was speeding down the river.


	3. Rain

Around lunch, someone knocked on the Rockbell's door.

"I'll get it," Ed volunteered. Izumi and Sig Curtis stood on the doorstep, each holding a suitcase. "Teacher!" For a second, he wondered if he was in trouble but Izumi gave him a bone cracking hug and didn't even try to flip him.

"They phoned ahead and wanted to surprise you," Winry beamed.

"It's good to see you, Ed," Izumi ruffled his hair, "I think you might've grown an inch or two."

"Yeah, whatever," he rolled his eyes, trying to hide how glad he was to see them.

"Oh is that all the reaction I get?" She chuckled. Winry ushered them all inside and started cutting up the apple pie she and Ed had made.

"I'll go get Al, he'll be happy you're here!"

"Alphonse is on his afternoon walk," Granny said, entering from the shop, "He'll be back soon."

"What? He went out? He didn't tell me!"

Granny reached for the kettle. "He's just walking on the road, Edward. He's just fine." 

"Yeah but -"

"He's alright, Ed," Winry insisted and handed him a slice of pie. He looked out the window. Dark clouds were gathering. He could feel his shoulder and leg start to ache.

"Ok, fine. He better be back before it rains."

Alphonse clung to the fallen tree. This was all that stood between him and being swept away. He couldn't say how far downstream he'd already traveled; he'd blacked out for a minute or two. His shirt had gotten stuck on the branches, holding him long enough to come to. The fabric had ripped free and now he held on with both hands to the roots. His arms ached and he tried again to hoist himself onto the tree's exposed trunk, but every time his legs were simply too weak to even attempt it. It was strange, but he didn't feel too panicked. The cold water numbed him. His arms felt heavy but the rest of him felt oddly light. It felt like his armor, truth be told: cold, weightless, detached.

_Brother will find me…_

Above, lightning split the sky. Rain began to fall, running down his face and into his eyes. He barely felt it touch his cold skin. How easy would it be to just let it lull him to sleep...to let go and float down into the weightlessness of unconsciousness.

_Brother will find me…_

After pie was done, Granny and Izumi talked at length about nothing in particular with Winry interjecting every few minutes. Ed remained silent. He kept looking out the window. The rain was coming down. He knew that Al was probably enjoying his walk in it, but still.

_Dumbass kid. He'd walk barefoot in snow if I'd let him. He's going to get sick_.

He wouldn't do anything stupid like he had last night...right? Of course not. Al wouldn't do something like that again, he had been in a bad state of mind last night. Remembering something bad. That was all. A walk would probably do him good, help to clear his head. He looked back out the window. Sig seemed to notice.

"Are you worried?"

"What? No."

"What are you worried about?"

"Really, it's nothing," Edward leaned back and laced his hands behind his head, trying to seem careless, "Just thinking how Al is gonna catch his death out there."

"How is he recovering?"

"Oh, pretty well. He's almost walking again. Almost. He's just kinda weak, y'know? Makes me a little nervous…" Sig had this strange way of getting people to talk without trying very hard.

"Did something happen?" Sig asked quietly.

"What?! No! Who said that?" Sig shrugged and turned back to the conversation. Ed tried to listen to what Teacher and the rest were saying but his eyes kept drifting to the window. His shoulder ached the more he listened to the rain drum on the roof. Finally, he stood and said,

"I'm going to find Al." Izumi paused mid sentence,

"Would you like some help?"

"No, it's no trouble," Ed pulled on his coat, "He's probably just splashing through puddles barefoot or something. He'll get a cold if someone doesn't bring him in."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be back soon."

They watched him go, hands shoved into pockets, head down against the rain. Winry sighed. Izumi turned to her.

"What happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"Something isn't sitting right with him," Sig rumbled. Winry considered lying but decided against it.

"Well, since you'll never get it out of Ed, I guess I should tell you. Last night...I guess he found Alphonse bleeding all over the floor. He said Al cut himself with a pen and he didn't seem to know what was going on." She looked down at her plate.

"I knew there was something wrong this morning," Granny sighed.

"I feared the transition would be difficult for Alphonse," Izumi said sadly.

"There has to be something we can do," Winry looked back outside where she saw Ed disappear around a bend in the road. "For both of them."

"Edward needs to stop worrying so much, to start," Granny said, tapping her pipe on the table, "Alphonse has grown up, but he doesn't seem to understand that."

"Can you blame him?" Izumi shook her head, "The two of them have been apart for long, and he spent all the time worried that his brother would disappear for good, or that he'd never be able to get his body back. Now that Alphonse can be independent again, it will take time for Ed to learn that he doesn't need to be there every waking moment." Sig placed a hand on her shoulder.

"I know Mustang wanted them to stay in Central Hospital longer, for rehab. Maybe he was right...but I just wanted them to be home," Winry looked guiltily at her lap.

"Ed would never have agreed to that," Granny assured her.

"Mustang was right to think they'd need more time but they can't do any real healing away from you and Granny," Izumi insisted, "Those poor, brave boys. They'd like to think they could be made fine in just a few months after an ordeal like that." She began coughing violently, covering her mouth with a handkerchief but everyone saw the blood stain it. "Sorry. I think I should lie down for a little." She let Sig help her upstairs. He returned, shaking his head.

"She is just as stubborn as those boys."

Winry poured him a another cup of tea. "Won't you both stay for a while? I'm sure Ed and Al would love it."

"I think we can do that." He hesitated, then said, "Winry, you should remember that love doesn't fix everything."

"What?"

"You can't love away their pain. You can ease it, you can help it. But you can't always heal it."

"That's not true."

"Do you think I didn't love Izumi when we lost our child? Do you think I didn't love her with everything I had and more? That I didn't tell her over and over again that it wasn't her fault? But my love wasn't enough. She still tried to bring the baby back."

Winry was speechless. "Sig, I didn't mean -"

"I know. I just don't want you to blame yourself if your love isn't enough. One day, Edward will be able to give love back. But until then, don't pour too much of yourself into a void that can't be filled." He shuffled back out of the room, presumably to check on his wife. Winry stood a little stunned. She hadn't ever heard him speak that much at once.

"He's right, you know," Granny said as she began to clear plates, "Don't wear yourself out."


	4. Flood

They were almost done with the dishes when Edward burst back into the room, dripping wet. Winry nearly dropped the cup she was holding at the look on his face. "What's wrong, Ed?"

"It's Al, I can't find him!" he was breathing hard, like he'd been running. "I was going up toward the train station where he usually walks, but he wasn't anywhere on the path! I didn't see him coming back!"

"He might've just gone walking somewhere else?" Winry suggested.

"He should be back by now! What if he fell or something?!"

"We can go look for him," Winry started to get her coat. "I'm sure he's fine, but we can go make sure."

Ed swallowed and took a deep breath. He knew Winry thought he was overreacting but at least she was offering to help. He tried not to be impatient as she put on her boots. They started back on the road, which was becoming muddy. Ed led the way, Winry trying to match his speed.

"Let's go to the bridge," she said, "He usually goes there."

"I already checked there!"

"Yes, but maybe he went under it. He probably doesn't want to walk back in the rain."

They walked across the stone bridge and she led him down the narrow path at the end that went down to the river. If anyone had been walking on it, the rain had removed any trace. They peered under the bridge.

"Al!" she called, "Alphonse!"

"Hey, Al! You down here? You're gonna catch a cold! Al!" Edward shouted. Something moved under the bridge. He moved to see what it was. A dirty kitten came out of the reeds, meowing piteously. Winry scooped it up. Ed was just about to curse his luck and move on when he noticed something sticking up out of the water, wedged between two rocks. A jagged piece of wood...it looked like -

_No. No. Oh no, no, no. _

He rushed to snatch it out from the river, dread sinking his stomach.

"What is it, Ed?" He turned to face her, eyes wide.

"Winry…" She pressed a hand to her mouth. Al's crutch. Snapped in two. "He's not strong enough to swim," Ed said hollowly, "He's not strong enough yet."

"We need to find him! Come on!" she kept the kitten under one arm and marched ahead, flattening reeds as she went. Ed followed, his sense of urgency growing until the pair of them were running down the bank, calling his brother's name.

_No...no, this can't be happening. No, it was all supposed to be ok now!_

"Al! Al where are you?" He kept running, ahead of Winry now, his vision a tunnel. "Alphonse!" His metal leg caught on a branch and he fell, mud splattering his face. Winry caught up with him, out of breath. "Al…"

"Ed, come on get up!" She pulled him to his feet, "We need to run!"

"What?"

"It's raining too hard, the farmers are going to drain the ditches into the river so the fields don't flood, we need to go!"

"And leave Al out here?!" He pulled his hand away, "No!"

"Don't you get it? We're going to be swept away if we stay out here!"

"We can find him in time!" he turned but she whirled him back to face her.

"What good are you dead?! We need someone with alchemy, we need Izumi!" Ed started to pull away but Winry's strong mechanic's hands caught him. "If we go now we can get Izumi down here before they flood the river! Now come on!" They bust through the front door fifteen minutes later, gasping for breath.

"Teacher!" Ed shouted, clutching a stitch in his side, "Teacher!" Izumi came to the top of the stairs, rubbing her eyes.

"Ed, what-" She immediately registered the mud covering his knees and hands and the panic in his face. Her eyes fell on the broken crutch in Winry's hand. "Where?" was all she asked as she pulled on a coat, Sig close behind her. Granny came in from the shop, taking in the scene as quickly as Izumi. Ed tried to explain but couldn't get the words to move past his mouth. 

Winry came to his rescue, "We found it by the river, we don't know where he is, but it's raining pretty hard and if the farmers decide to drain the irrigation ditches into the river - we need you, Izumi, now!"

"I'll go and stop the farmers," Sig said immediately.

"Good, honey. Alright, come on," she threw open the door and they started back down the road. Ed knew his leg was screaming in protest (Winry had adjusted it only a few days ago) but he barely noticed. His thoughts were swirling faster than the river.

_You left him out there, you coward, you could've made Winry go back, but you ran too. If he dies - _

_No. That won't happen, it can't happen. How many times has something dangerous happened to him? He's always ok. It's just a little water. He's not going to do something stupid like drown. It was different before. He had his armor to protect him. Now he's just like you. Coward. No. Al isn't like me. He's stronger._

Alphonse jerked his head out of the water. It was nearly up to his neck and every few minutes he had to pull himself up again as a swell smacked him in the face. He was afraid to struggle against the current to get on top of the log because if he slipped there would be no going back.

_Come on, come on think!_

He'd thought about carving a transmutation circle in to the wood with his fingernail but he'd have to let go in order to activate it. If he could get a better hold...an idea struck him. His shirt already had a large tear in the left shoulder. He moved his injured hand, trying to unbutton the front. It was clumsy, he could hardly move his fingers around the bandages. He abandoned it after a few minutes. Trying to tie himself to the log would be harder than alchemy. He could hardly feel his legs, but he tried once again to find a hold. Maybe if he moved down the log a bit...arms trembling, he pulled himself down a few inches at a time until his foot struck something. A branch. He found a foothold for one foot, then the next. With all his strength, he pulled himself up onto the trunk.

Breathing hard, he grinned. He'd done it. All by himself. Now, what next...he felt far too tired to attempt a transmutation, but if it came to it...he looked to his left. The bank appeared to be in jumping distance, though it would be hard for a person who didn't have strong legs. Maybe he should wait for Edward.

_No. I'm tired of other people having to save me._ He waited another minute, allowing his breath to return. Then, not completely trusting himself, he crouched and prepared to leap to the bank.

_ Come on, Alphonse. You can do this._

He jumped.


	5. Regret Remains

Ed saw him first.

In no time, he slid down the bank to where Alphonse lay in a crumpled heap. Behind him he heard Izumi and Winry coming down the bank. He turned Al on his back, frantically searching for signs of breathing. Relief washed over him as he saw his brother's chest rise and fall.

_He's ok...he's alright, he's alive, it's going to be ok. _

Winry put a hand on Ed's shoulder. He quickly turned away so she wouldn't see the tears in his eyes. With a sniff, he said,

"He's alright."

Izumi knelt on the other side of the boy and began checking for broken bones. "He probably has a concussion, but no harm done."

"He's freezing!" Winry exclaimed, "How long do you think he's been out here?" Ed took off his coat and Izumi helped him wrap it around his brother's body. He started to pick him up but she stopped him.

"Save your strength, Ed."

"I can do it!" Izumi gave him her fiercest glare and lifted Al off the ground, careful to support his head. Slipping and sliding, Winry and Ed trudged up the muddy hill behind them. Ed's leg sank a few inches into the mud.

"Dammit! Stupid leg!" He tugged hard but it wouldn't budge.

"Careful what you call stupid!" Winry snapped. She reached out a hand to help him. Still, he stayed sunk in the mud. Ed tried to wrench it out again but only succeeded in pulling something in his knee. Winry sighed and bent down and unlaced the top of his boot. "Pull your foot out." It worked. They got to the road, Izumi carrying Al like a child. 

Ed's knee didn't seem to want to carry his weight and much to his chagrin, he had to lean on Winry's shoulder.

"Almost there, Al," Izumi whispered. The boy in her arms only shivered in reply.

Edward sat in his bed, knees drawn up to his chest, glancing over every few minutes to where Alphonse slept. He'd woken, very groggy, a few hours ago. Teacher had put him to bed and Granny piled every spare blanket in the house on him. Winry had insisted on checking Ed's automail to make sure he hadn't bent anything. Ed was only too glad to let her take it off, it was killing his knee. He'd made some excuse to come and sit in the room. Hopefully, they'd let him alone for a while. He had a feeling his brother was awake. Al rolled over and cracked open his eye, just a little.

"Al, I know you're awake."

His brother sighed, "Alright. Fine." Ed looked out the window. It was still raining. "I'm sorry, brother," Al said quietly. 

"It wasn't your fault," he glanced at Al, "Right?"

"No! It was an accident, there was a cat -"

"Don't worry. Winry got it."

"Oh. Good. I promise it was an accident. I got stuck on another snag and...I guess I must've hit my head when I jumped to the bank. I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"Just that I got you all worried about something that you didn't need to be worried about." 

"Don't be stupid," Ed got off his bed, "We need to change the bandages on your hand." He got new bandages and a bowl of water that Winry had brought up for him. He carefully unwound the old bandages. The cuts had scabbed over. Al studied his brother's face. He wanted to ask what was wrong, but knew he wouldn't get a straight answer that way. He held up his other hand, inspecting the thumb.

"You know, I forgot how strange it is that humans have prints on their fingers."

"Why's that so strange?" Ed finished washing his brother's hand and started wrapping it back up. It didn't really need the bandages now, but he felt better doing it.

"I don't know. It just is. I remember mom showing me." His brother got up and paced the room a few times and Al was worried he'd said something wrong. Finally, Ed stopped and glanced at him. He whispered,

"Al...do you think we'll ever be free of it?"

Al knew what he meant. "We have to live with the cost of what we did, brother. I don't know."

"I know. I'm _sick_ of it. This guilt and -"

"What other choice do we have? Keep going forward, remember? No one said it would get easier."

"I just thought - I thought that it would get easier. That we could finally rest." Ed leaned against the windowsill, gripping it to keep his hands from shaking. 

"What do you mean?"

"All we did for so long was search and search, trying to fix what I did."

"What _we_ did."

"And now...now that we've got it, I don't know what to do." He looked at his brother, "What now, Al? Tell me, what do I do now?" Al got up with some difficulty and limped over to his brother, putting an arm around his shoulder.

"Now, brother, we eat apple pie for breakfast, and chase Den around the yard, and bother Winry while she's working. Now we read books, and visit our friends in Central when we want to, and tease Havoc about his girlfriends. Now we can fix the roof over the shop, and you won't have to worry about research, and I'll eat all the things I put on my list. Now, brother, we live."

Ed's shoulders shook slightly and a few tears escaped, despite his best efforts. "I don't know if I remember how to do that, Al."

"That's ok. You're good at learning stuff." Ed had to smile despite himself.

"Yeah, I guess so. I should let you get some rest."

**Stay tuned for more feelsy conversations, featuring more Winry and Izumi! (coming soon...I hope)**


	6. Learning to be Loved

He hadn't meant to go into Winry's workshop but somehow his feet carried him there. She was at her bench working on his leg, focused. He shouldn't bother her…

She looked up, "Oh, hi Ed."

"Hi...sorry."

"I was actually going to come look for you soon. I'm done with the repairs, it was just a spring that needed replacing."

Ed obliged her by sitting on the workbench. He gritted his teeth, waiting for the nerves to connect. He always thought he was used to the feeling until it had to feel it again and sure enough, he let out a muffled yell when she locked it in place.

"There!" She smiled encouragingly. He bent his knee. It felt better. She sat down on the bench next to him and he was suddenly very aware of how close she was. "How's Al?" She asked.

"Oh, he's ok. I think he wants to be left alone for a bit." He got up and started to move toward the door.

"Where are you going now?"

"I uh -" he was going to say 'out' but since it was still raining, that didn't make much sense. "I dunno."

"Stay here then."

"What - no, you're working, I shouldn't -" he felt himself reddening. 

"And make yourself useful!" she heaved an enormous toolbox onto the bench with a loud crash. "Help me organize these old parts!"

How did this girl always manage to get him to do stuff like this? No State Alchemist title or world saving achievement would ever stop her bossing him around. Ed chuckled to himself and started sorting screws and bolts. Winry turned her attention to a new project sitting on her bench.

"Who's that one for?"

"A client in Rush Valley. Special order. Weapons grade." She grabbed her wrench. 

"You do weapons grade now? How come mine isn't weapons grade?"

She gave him an exasperated look, "Because you don't need it to be!"

"Well...I guess not. But -"

"But nothing! You and Alphonse don't need stuff like that anymore. Right?" she glared.

Ed held up his hands defensively, "It would just be cool to learn how to use it…"

"There are about a thousand other things that would be 'cool' to learn that don't involve weapons. Maybe try one of those instead of picking up another hobby that puts you in danger all the time! Learn something normal." She snapped.

"Like what?"

"I don't know, you're the prodigy!"

"I was a prodigy," he corrected her, "I was good at alchemy, at least. But I don't have that anymore."

"No, but that makes you more free to learn other things. Gives you time for more important stuff." 

"Like what?" Ed said, annoyed.

Winry put down her wrench. "Did we really come all this way so you could insist on being a dramatic loner?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about!" Her face was getting pink, "You, bursting in and out of our doors whenever the feeling strikes you and never telling us anything! You being all secretive and tight lipped about everything!"

"I kept stuff secret to keep you safe!" Ed protested.

"I know! But you did it for so long I think you've forgotten what it's like to tell the people who care about you what's going on! There's no world-threatening conspiracy anymore. You can talk to me, dammit!" Winry's hand lingered on her wrench like she was considering throwing it at him. "You struggled for so long to get your body back, to get Al's body back, to make things right. And you did! So accept that and accept that despite all you messed up, we still love you!"

Alphonse struggled to get back into bed. He'd made it to the bathroom alright, but his legs were being stubborn on the way back. He needed a new crutch. He stumbled three steps away from his bed, stubbed his toe and caught himself with his injured hand.

"Ow!"

"Do you need some help?" Teacher said, coming into the room. 

"No, I'm ok," he pulled himself up and sat down on the bed. She joined him, looking out the window.

"You had us all very worried."

"I'm sorry."

"No need to be sorry. I just wanted to remind you that you're important to us."

"Oh. Thanks," he glanced at her, "Teacher…"

"Yes, Al?"

"I...why did you and Sig come to visit?"

She tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear, "To see you and Ed, of course."

"Really?"

She turned to him. "Is that so surprising?"

"Well, no but - I don't mean to offend you, Teacher, but sometimes you're really confusing. Usually when we see you, it's because we did something bad. And you get mad at us." He still vividly remembered meeting her in his armor for the first time. "Or when it isn't because we did something bad, it's not for very long. It just...it always seemed like you wanted to stay a little bit away from us."

Izumi didn't answer for a few minutes. Finally, just when Al was starting to get really nervous, she sighed. "You're a smart boy, Alphonse. I do tend to stay a little bit away from you two. Not because I didn't care about you, please understand that. I stayed a little separate, because I know loss, and - and I just wasn't ready for that." She looked away. Al moved closer and rested his head on her shoulder, like he used to with his mother.

"That's alright, Teacher. I understand."

"But now…well, Winry called us and I think now I can risk a little more. Or I'll learn to." Al politely pretended not to see her wipe her eyes and let her wrap her arms around him.

"Teacher...I've been thinking. What now?"

"What now? You mean, what now after you and your brother saved the world?" She chuckled, "It's a hard act to top."

"I told brother that now we get to live...but he was right, I don't really remember what that means. I guess we figure it out -"

"The first thing you ought to do is rest," Izumi cut him off with a tone that reminded Al of training, "You hear me? Rest."

"Yes ma'am!"

"And then," she tousled his hair, "You let yourself be loved."


	7. Epidemic

The rain didn't let up for two more days. Luckily, there was little flooding damage; the farmers drained the fields soon after they fished Alphonse out of the river. Still, the roads were a muddy mess. Al came down with a cold, to no one's surprise but his own. Still, he found something about sneezing and sniffling a little exhilarating, at least for the first two days. By the third day, the rain had stopped and he was stuffy and cranky. On the fourth, he woke up feeling much better. After getting ready, threw a pillow at the top of his brother's head which was just visible above the quilt.

"Hey Ed!" Edward made no reply. "Come on, it's breakfast! Smells like Winry made eggs." He threw another pillow. Ed groaned sleepily and rolled over. Alphonse marched over and pulled back the quilt. His brother yanked it back and closed his eyes.

"Don't want any eggs," he mumbled Al noticed the sheets were damp. He put a hand on Ed's forehead. He was very warm, his brow soaked with sweat.

"Brother, are you feeling alright?"

"M'fine."

Al knew that meant he was_ not_ fine. "Stay here, I'll bring you something to eat."

He went downstairs to find Winry in the kitchen. Sig and Teacher were already awake, Teacher looking very tired.

"Morning, Al. Feeling better?"

"Yes, but I think brother caught whatever I had."

Winry rolled her eyes, "It's always one of you either sick, hurt, or in trouble. I'm sure Ed's fine, it's just a cold."

"He felt pretty warm...I'm just going to bring him some breakfast."

Everyone, including himself, expected Ed to be better by the next day.

He wasn't.

Before he even opened his eyes, he felt a headache pounding at his skull. He ached like he did after an automail adjustment, except all over his body. He felt hot and kicked off the covers, but regretted it a minute later and pulled them back as his teeth started chattering.

"Brother?"

He opened his eyes and his vision felt fuzzy. "Yeah?" He could see Al looked concerned.

"Nothing. I'll be right back."

Winry wasn't awake yet, she'd pulled a near all nighter working on a rush order project. Al found some bread and started to make toast when Sig shuffled in and sat down at the table. Al made coffee as well and handed him a mug.

"Thank you," he said, "Where is everyone else?"

"Well, Winry is still asleep, brother isn't feeling well, and Granny is probably out doing some of the morning chores." Sig took a drink of coffee and looked out the window. Winry came downstairs in her pajamas.

She yawned, "Morning, Al," she took the coffee pot and poured herself some, "Where's everyone else? I thought for sure I'd be the last one up." A loud thump upstairs sent Al moving as fast as he could back to his room. Sure enough, Ed was on the floor. Al rolled his eyes. Winry came in right behind him and gave Ed a very unamused look before helping him up and back into bed.

She felt his forehead, "You're really burning up."

"Yeah, thanks for the analysis, doctor," Ed snapped.

"Stay here," she sighed and went back downstairs.

They made sure he had plenty to drink and something to eat before drawing the blinds and ordering him to rest. No one was seriously worried, why should they be? In hindsight, Al knew they should've paid more attention. How many times had Ed forced himself to keep going with cracked ribs or a bullet wound? A simple fever was child's play compared to what he usually was able to hide.

Around noon, Winry called the tavern in town to see if Granny had gone for a game of cards like she sometimes did. Al knew by the vaguely worried look on her face when she hung up that Granny wasn't there. As it turned out, Granny was still in her room, asleep, her brow just as warm as Ed's. This prompted Sig, who until now assumed Izumi was having one of her off days and simply needed more rest, to check on his wife and realized that she too was burning up with fever.

"How could they all have caught it?!" Winry exclaimed, "Ed didn't even come downstairs yesterday!"

The phone rang in the shop and she went to get it. Al couldn't help but think of the last time he'd sat with someone with a fever. _Mom…_

"It sounds like we're not the only ones," Winry said, coming back into the kitchen a few minutes later, "Farmer Donner called. There's at least fifty people who've been reported sick, all in the last two days."

Ed was used to nightmares; they'd taken many shapes over the years. The images that ran together didn't often make sense, but the feeling of cold dread and knotted anxiety they left in his stomach when he woke were very real. Sometimes he could see them clearly: his mother...Nina...Alphonse...Hughes...Hoenheim. Sometimes he just heard the screaming of thousands of voices against the backdrop of Envy's leering face or Father's icy stare. Other times, he couldn't remember anything but woke up drenched in cold sweat and reaching for his automail arm, only to remember that it was flesh now. Just because the danger was over didn't mean his dreams were safe, but it had been a while since his dreams were this vivid.

He couldn't tell if he was asleep or not as images and half remembered fears rushed before him and all the while the fever roared behind his eyes. He must've cried out in his sleep because when he jerked awake, Winry was standing next to his bed. He was too exhausted to be embarrassed. She said nothing and instead helped him take a drink of water. The liquid did little to cool his burning throat.

Someone else came in, he thought it was Al, and said something he could hear but couldn't comprehend. Winry turned her attention back to him a second later and put a damp cloth on his forehead. He tried to say something funny to ease the tension but couldn't think of anything that made sense and let his eyes close. He could swear he heard Winry say something like, "it'll be ok" before he drifted off to sleep.

Al sat at the table with Sig and Winry.

"It doesn't make sense! What could've caused something to spread this fast? There haven't even been any trains stopping in Resembool in the last two days!" Winry exclaimed.

"I don't know..." Alphonse leaned his elbow on the table, thinking.

"Where's the doctor?" Resembool had once relied on the Rockbells but had now learned to settle with a well-intentioned but mediocre country doctor, and he was already busy with those closer to town.

"We need a way to get the doctor here…" Winry realized, "The roads are still too muddy."

Sig stood, "I'll organize some people to help make them passable." He headed to the phone. Winry turned to Alphonse,

"Al, we need to figure out the cause of this."

"How? Neither of us are doctors!"

"No, but you're an alchemist! And alchemists are good at sniffing out problems."

"This is a doctor's job!" Al protested.

"Doctor Harms won't be able to fix this!"

"Then we should call another one! I can call into Eastern Command or Central -"

"There might not be enough time!"

Al looked at her, suddenly concerned, "But...but it's just a fever. It'll pass. Right?"

"We don't know what it is or how it's being carried. Mom and Dad always said that you can't dismiss how dangerous something is until you know _what_ it is and where it's coming from."

Al looked down. He was no doctor. He knew very little about biological alchemy and what he did know mostly came from Shou Tucker…

_You have to try_.

"From what Farmer Barrow said on the phone, the symptoms are all similar...a fever, chills, sore throat etc," Winry said, "I'll start looking in my parent's medical books."

She left Alphonse to think. _What introduced the sickness? What variable changed?_ Al remembered sitting on the floor of his father's study in front of a pile of metal shavings, holding a piece of chalk.

_"Why isn't it working, brother?" he looked up at Ed. _

_"I dunno, Al. We did the circle right...I think." They peered at the book, scratching their heads. "Well, if it isn't the circle then it's another variable we need to change…"_

Al looked out the window. The sun was out, sparkling on the marshy yard where Den was romping in the mud. He got up to get a glass of water and had it halfway to his lips when it hit him. Dropping the glass in the sink, he burst into Winry's workshop,

"Winry!" Winry looked up from her book, alarmed. "It's the water!" She stared blankly.

"What?"

"The water! That's the variable!"

"What are you talking about, Al?"

"When it rains too much, the farmers drain their irrigation ditches into the river! And since it kept raining, they kept the ditches open. All the runoff from the fields and the overflowing river, what if it contaminated the reservoir?!"

Winry sat up straighter, "But then how come we aren't sick?"

"I don't know, I haven't figured that part out yet. Come one," he hobbled as quickly as he could back to the kitchen. "Winry, I'm going to need your help."

"With what?"

Al grinned, "How'd you like to learn a little alchemy?"


	8. Alchemy Again

Al hadn't realized how much he missed experimenting. He loved watching chemicals bubble and burn in beakers and flasks. Winry stood next to him at her workbench they'd cleared off, a little confused. She squinted at the concoction on the fire, wishing there was something with more wires and screws she could work on instead. Al handed her a cup.

"Could you get more some more water?"

"Oh yeah, sure," Winry went back to the kitchen. At least she could do that. They'd decided her workroom would be better than the kitchen. Al turned up the burner and wafted the steam.

All at once, every smell and sound in the room assaulted him and his knees nearly buckled as he tried to sit down. He leaned on the table, rubbing his temples. The hiss of steam, the smell of gas, the rolling boil of water - why was it all so loud? He could feel every grain of wood as he gripped the table.

_Too loud…_

"Al?"

Winry's voice pounded against his head.

"Thanks, Winry." Even his own voice sounded like thunder.

"You alright?"

"Headache. It'll pass." He knew it would. It happened every so often. Everything got loud, became too much.

"We can take a break."

"No, no, it's ok." He took a deep breath. Things became a little more quiet. "Here," he took the glass from her. Winry watched him pour half of it into a beaker then asked him,

"Why don't you just use alchemy?"

"What do you mean?" Al started to measure some powder she didn't recognize.

"Just...I dunno, you can do pretty much anything with alchemy!"

"If there's one thing I've learned from alchemy, it's that you can't use it for everything," he smirked, "It was a problem for brother, actually. He was too dependent on it sometimes. So, I'm doing a few initial tests. Trying to see if I can identify the contaminant first."

Winry looked at the beaker on the burner. Most of the water had evaporated. "I don't get it. If you can just separate the contaminant out with alchemy…"

"But I need to know what it _is _before I try it."

"Yes but why?"

"Alchemy is science, Winry. Knowing stuff is kinda part of it."

Winry rolled her eyes, "I don't mean rush your _science _but people are sick!" Al looked a little sheepish and bent back over his work, then admitted,

"I'm not sure what to do."

Winry sat back down and turned to him. His thin face still held some of the poutiness she remembered from when they were kids. Usually, that expression meant Ed had stolen his toy.

"I know you've got a few ideas."

"Well...either the water needs to be purified by transmuting the bad stuff into something else, or by removing it somehow. I don't know the best way to do either…"

Winry could only shake her head. "I'm going to check on Grammy. Sig should be back soon."

Al stayed with the beakers a little longer then shut off the burner and hobbled to the door. He knew who would probably have some ideas, though he didn't want to bother him. He should be resting, but maybe it would help Ed to have something to think about.

His brother was awake, or at least his eyes were half open. He didn't seem to see Alphonse when he came in. Al sat on his own bed a few feet away.

"Are you awake?" he asked softly.

Ed's eyes snapped open fully and he focused on Al, "Oh. Sorry...didn't see…"

"That's ok. Brother, if you feel up to it, I have a question."

"Hmm." Ed half raised himself up with his arm, but it was clearly a struggle for him to even keep his head raised. Beads of sweat stood out on his brow.

"It's sort of a puzzle. But...I have a hypothesis that the water is what got everyone sick."

"Everyone? What...do you mean?" His vision was blurry but he could still hear Al's voice clearly.

"Didn't - didn't Winry explain? Teacher and Granny aren't feeling well either. Lots of people in town are sick."

Ed knew that Winry had been trying to tell him _something _but damned if he knew what. However, he did grasp what Al was telling him now. He tried to say something like "that's not good" but it didn't make it past his lips as fully formed words.

"And I know that if I knew the right matrix or something I could transmute the contaminant in the water to something else...but I don't know what. I don't know what the bad stuff is, and I could just as easily turn it into a pathogen or something worse on accident. I don't know, brother. I...I need your help."

Ed lay back. "Can't do alchemy, you know."

"Yes, I know, but you're still smart! I just - I don't know where to start." Al glanced at his big brother's feverishly shaking limbs. He shouldn't have tried. This would just tire him out more, overexert him while he was sick. "Nevermind. Get some rest, brother. We'll figure this out, don't worry." He started to leave.

"Hey Al." Al paused. "Hand me...my notebook over there," he pointed to a small black book on the windowsill. "If...think of something. I'll write it down." Al complied, then put a hand to his brother's forehead.

_Warmer than it was. I need to figure this out fast._

"Sleep well, brother."

Al checked on Izumi. He knew Sig would want someone to make sure she was alright. Teacher was propped up on pillows on the guest bed, some paper and a pen on her lap that she didn't seem to have the energy to lift.

"Teacher, how are you feeling?" he climbed on the end of the bed.

"Good morning, Alphonse. Where's Sig?"

"Oh, he's out helping with the road so the doctor can get here." He noticed the dried blood in the corner of her mouth. He almost offered to get her water, then realized he couldn't.

"Teacher...I have a question." he related his hypothesis. She seemed in a more coherent state to answer it. Izumi ran a hand over her eyes, thinking.

"Well, I don't have an exact answer. If you brought me a formula or an equation…" Al looked down. _Brother was always better at this. _As if reading his thoughts, Izumi immediately added, "You _can _do this, Alphonse."

"I hope so."

"No. You know so. You might not have had the State Alchemist title but your skills are certainly on par with your brother's. In fact, you're smarter than he is in certain areas."

"Like what?" Al asked, suddenly curious. He'd need something to tease brother about when he felt better.  
"Like the ability to ask for help. The ability to not talk back." The corner of her mouth twitched but then she started coughing into the sheet. When the fit passed, she said, "Figure it out. That's an order."

"You don't have a military rank!" Al giggled.

"No, but I have plenty of authority without one! Now go! Figure something out. This is what I've thought up so far," she handed him the paper, "I don't know if any of it will be useful. If something else comes to me, I'll let you know. And while you're looking for help, call up that Colonel or whatever rank he is now. Surely he's good for something!"


	9. Helpless

In a matter of hours, Winry had called everyone she could reach in Resembool and convinced them to shut off their water and assured them help from Central was coming. The kitchen table was full of beakers of water and chalk circles. Winry went between helping Al write notes and checking on their patients. She had looked through their medicine cabinet and tried every fever remedy she knew of but none of them seemed to do anything.

"Well...I think it's safe to say it isn't a bacteria," Al said, holding a tube up to the light.

"Then what? A virus?"

"Maybe…" he set the tube down and rubbed his eyes, "I don't know. I need a break." He went over to the phone and put it to his ear. "Alphonse Elric for Colonel - er, uh - Roy Mustang, please." The operator told him to wait. Hughes had always said the higher up someone was, the longer it took to call them. Finally, after several minutes, the line transferred.

"Well, hello Alphonse."

"Hi Colonel - uh, sorry what is your rank again?"

"I think you can just call me Mustang, all things considered," He sounded amused, "It's been a while, not that I expected you to call. How are you recovering?"

"Oh, I'm fine. Getting better every day."

"And how's Fullmetal?"

"He's...um, he's why I'm calling." Alphonse said nervously. He heard Mustang's chair squeak as he sat up.

"Why, is something wrong?" He was trying not to sound concerned but Al could tell he had his attention.

"Well, actually it's sort of a lot of Resembool. We had a lot of rain and flooding and at least fifty people got sick in the last two days. Brother is one of them. I have good reason to believe that the water main has been contaminated and that's what's causing the epidemic. Our town only has one doctor and -"

"I'll send a train with water and aid immediately," Mustang said, "Is this illness contagious?"

"I don't think so...Winry and I aren't sick, anyway."

"Very well. Until we know for sure, I'm going to enforce a quarantine but don't worry. We'll get this sorted. I'll call you when the supply train is on its way."

Alphonse sighed in relief, "Thank you, sir."

"Least I could do. Oh, and Al?"

"Yes?"

"It's good to hear from you."

"You too, sir." The line clicked.

The front door opened and Sig stumped in, covered in mud. "The road is clear enough for now."

"Help from Central is coming," Al told him, "And I checked on Teacher." Sig nodded his appreciation and headed for the stairs to look in on his wife. Winry picked up one of the beakers and squinted at it, brow furrowed.

"What makes you so sure it isn't a bacteria?"

"Because I can't feel any life force from it. Mei taught me how, it's a lot like when you try and figure out the things that make up a material you're transmuting. Even things like bacteria are alive, but the fact that I can't make out any life…"

"So, then it _is_ a virus."

"Well, I don't want to jump to any conclusions -" Winry cut him off.

"It's a logical conclusion. There's not a lot that I've read about viruses, but the one thing I do remember reading is that technically a virus isn't alive."

"How do you know?" Al asked, suddenly curious. He'd paid little attention to medical research; combining that with alchemy was too close to human transmutation for comfort.

"Let me see...I remember! One of mom and dad's friends was researching something about viruses!" She ran to her workroom and returned waving a thick stack of papers tied in twine. She untied the string and began leafing through the handwritten notes. "If I remember correctly...he proposed the idea that viruses were sort of like a parasite that can't exist without a host."

"Did he said anything about how to cure viral infections?" Al asked eagerly.

"He proposed a vaccine theory, I remember that. It didn't make much sense to me, and the research was never published…" She pulled out a page near the back of the stack and she scanned it, her face falling a little. "He says that the only current way to treat a virus is to let it run its course. Some medicines can help speed up the process, or lessen the effects but that's it."

Al felt a knot in his stomach tighten but he ignored it. "Mustang is sending doctors. I'll let them figure out a cure. For now, we need to figure out how to make the water drinkable again."

The day wore on, Winry and Sig looking in on Granny, Ed, and Izumi who were all very thirsty. They had no water, but luckily Winry found half a jug of milk so they were able to give them _something _to drink. Winry came downstairs after taking some to Ed and looked very worried.

"He didn't even argue with me," she said, "He just drank it."

"Mustang said the trains would be here early tomorrow morning."

"Good. We can make the milk last a little longer but what we really need is water."

As the day turned into night, still Al felt no closer to success. This was such a complicated transmutation, though he couldn't fathom why. He'd done plenty of stuff just as hard or harder.

_Maybe I'm out of practice...the last time I did alchemy must've been the Promised Day-_

_Darkness - pounding, ringing of metal, Pride's red eyes staring at him -_

Al winced and rubbed his temples, banishing the thought. He was very acutely aware of every hair his fingers brushed and the smell of the chemicals he'd been using overpowered his senses for a moment.

Turning back to his calculations and diagrams, he found nothing but frustration. Across the table, Winry had her head down and snored gently. He wasn't sure when Sig had left. Al needed to talk to someone before trying again. He made his way toward the stairs, stumbling into the wall but steadied himself in time. He peeked into Teacher's room. She was asleep, Sig next to her, holding her close. Al smiled and closed the door.

He doubted Ed would be conscious or cognitive enough to answer any questions but he went in anyway. Brother's sheets were damp with sweat. Al thought about moving him to his bed so he could change them, but figured he'd probably drop him. Ed muttered something in his sleep. Al noticed the notebook had fallen on the floor. He crouched next to it and picked it up, eagerly flipping through the pages.

Nothing.

_You would've already had this fixed, brother. It should be me to get sick._

He looked out the window, the moon reflected in the soggy road below.

_I can't do this...I've never been as good as brother._

Ed muttered again then cried out something Al couldn't understand and half sat up in bed, eyes open and terrified

"Al...Al!" Alphonse jumped and looked down at Ed. His brother's eyes were open, he was trying to sit up but seemed to be too weak to do more than raise his head. He could tell by how far away his brother's stare seemed that he wasn't awake. Al was used to this. His brother cried in his sleep a lot, woke up with sudden starts. He'd never asked Ed who he saw at night, he could guess. He saw a lot of the same people, too.

_There's nothing I can do here. I need to fix the problem, save him for a change._

He tucked the blankets around Ed, "Don't worry, brother. I'll take care of this one."

Ed was stuck in the mine shaft. On the ground, doubled over, vision blurry, blood dripping through his fingers. His thoughts whirred through his head, desperately trying to comprehend the situation,

_It must've missed my lungs or I'd be choking on blood, it lacerated the liver if it didn't puncture it entirely, don't think any broken bones, no, no too much blood if I dislodge it I'll bleed out in minutes - seconds? No, probably minutes - probably? Don't make too much noise, can't let them find you - they won't, no one will. No one knows where you are. They all left - you're alone, alone - oh god I'm going to die, I'm going to die down here alone, no one knows where I am - she'll cry. You're going to make her cry. She's going to cry - Al won't ever get his body back, you're going to die - no, not if you can - you're going to die, can't you feel the blood draining? Your pulse is erratic, are you going into shock? Arms shaky - if you fall you'll dislodge it, maybe move it to your lungs - She'll cry and it's your fault - Winry!_

The explosion, falling again, blood, violent pain making everything go white -

His room was dark. Ed blinked.

_Oh._

His side still twinged but he hardly noticed next to the splitting headache and pulsing in his ears from the fever. He managed to pull himself up into a sitting position, leaning against the headboard. His shirt clung to his damp body and he peeled it off. Ed noticed there were red marks on the scar on his stomach, as if his nails had been digging into the skin.

_Must've been more phantom pain…how did I sleep through that?_

The thought became muddled and he absently rubbed the scar as he tried to think of what had woken him. Sitting up required so much effort.

"Ed?" Winry stood in the doorway.

"Mmm…"

"You're awake. I thought - I thought I heard you call me."

_Did I?_

She came in and sat down on his bed, placing a cool cloth on the back of his neck. Ed was too dazed to notice her gaze flickering to several scars on his torso.

"Al's working on fixing the water. Mustang is sending relief to the village. It'll be ok soon. You'll see."

"Winry?" Ed asked softly.

"What?"

"Are you crying?" he asked, eyes unfocused.

"No, I'm fine."

"I'm sorry," he said.

Winry's brow furrowed, "For what?"

"Just...I'm sorry. For making you cry. And worry. That we didn't tell you stuff, or call. I'm sorry."

Winry tried to tell him that she forgave him, that it was all ok now, but he kept repeating 'sorry, sorry' deliriously and didn't stop until he fell into a restless sleep. Winry settled him back into bed, propping his head up with a pillow and sat next to him. She looked out the window, occasionally glancing down. She sat there, watching the sky grow gradually lighter. As the sky began to turn pink, Ed rolled over, his hand falling close to hers. Winry took it and squeezed it gently. She could've sworn that he squeezed back.

Al set out at first light toward Resembool's reservoir. The muddy streets made it take longer, but the worst places were covered with boards and mostly filled in by Sig and the rest of the town. He felt out of breath once he got to the bridge, but kept going, his crutch splashing mud onto his pants. The bag at his side had chalk, the test tube of water he'd transmuted a few hours ago, and a handful of hastily scribbled notes.

_What if this doesn't work?_

_You have to try. Come on, keep going._

_You could make it worse. What if you're wrong? What if you're-_

He tried to silence the nagging doubts. There wasn't much he could do to make it worse at this point. People were already sick, and besides, even if he made the water worse Mustang's train would be here in less than two hours.

_It could go wrong…_

_No it won't! You've done a million transmutations and anytime they do go wrong, you always figure out how to fix it._

_Well...not _all _of them._

Al stopped. His heart started to beat faster. What was wrong with him? Why was this coming to mind now? He tried to clamp down on his thoughts, get them under control. He kept going, one foot in front of the other. Keep moving forward.

_There's no brother here to fix your mistakes. No one to keep you from messing everything up. No one will -_

_Shut up, shut up, shut UP!_

One foot in front of the other. He started up the hill, pulling his crutch out of the mud every few steps. A small pit of dread was welling up inside him as he kept trying to stagger forward.

_Almost there...just over this hill…_

_What will you do if it goes wrong?_

_It isn't going to go wrong, and even if it does, it can be fixed._

_How can you be sure?_

Al nearly tripped and splashed mud onto his shirt as he took the last few steps up to the top of the hill and looked out over the reservoir, which was a good deal higher than usual. Normally it sparkled in the sun but there was too much sediment in it and it looked muddy brown.

He got to the edge of the water and sat down, afraid if he stayed up for a moment longer he'd collapse.

_Just...need to catch my breath._

He looked out over the surface of the water, trying to calm his mind. This much water...it was going to be hard but he had to do it. Al waded in a few feet and crouched down, plunging his hands into the water. He closed his eyes and breathed out, trying to feel all the life around him like Mei had taught him. There was very little to be felt, it seemed a large percentage of the fish population had also fallen prey to whatever was in the water. He took another deep breath and began drawing a matrix in the sand beneath him.

_What if it doesn't work?_

_It will._

He finished the circle and drew a line down the middle.

_How many times has your oh so miraculous alchemy failed when it really matters?_

_Shut UP!_

_Nina. Hughes. Your mother, just to name a few. Remember them? Helpless to do anything, no matter how much truth you got from the gateway. They died, they died and you did nothing -_

Another line, then more, forming the shapes he needed, balancing the matrix.

_I'm not helpless anymore!_

Al pressed his palms to the matrix, closing his eyes, concentrating.

"_You're my one and only, Alphonse."_

Energy flowed, crackled through the surface of the water, making waves from shore to shore. Still Alphonse kept his hands on the matrix, holding it until sweat beaded on his brow. He could feel it moving through the lake, changing, morphing, until finally he stopped.

After only a few minutes, the water was still as if nothing had happened. He got to his feet and moved to dry ground, feeling exhausted.

_No way to really know if it worked until I do some test…_

In the distance, he heard the blaring horn of a train. Mustang's supplies must've come. If he hurried, he could make it back home before anyone noticed he had been gone.


	10. Mere Humans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me forever to come up with how I wanted this to end, but here it is! I hope you enjoyed, thank you for reading!

When Ed woke, he wasn't sure he'd opened his eyes for a few seconds. The white ceiling temporarily dazzled his eyes and brought back the dull headache that persisted as he'd drifted in and out the past few...hours? Days? After a moment he found he could move his arms and rubbed his eyes. He heard people's loud footsteps in a nearby hallway, the rustling of sheets, the soft murmur of voices.

He pushed the hair off of his forehead. His spine ached but he managed to pull himself into a sitting position. Reflexively, he felt his scarred shoulder and let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding as he felt a flesh and blood arm. If this was another hallucination or dream, it would've been metal again. He wasn't in his own bed, instead he was on a cot between sheets that felt too crisp.

Ed looked around; there were four other beds in the room, but only his was occupied. The room looked vaguely familiar to him, and he realized he was in the antechamber of Resembool's town hall.

How…

"He's awake!" Winry appeared in the doorway, beaming, and nearly knocked Ed over with a hug. Teacher came in behind her, smiling gently.

"About time," she said as Winry fussed over Ed and felt his forehead.

"What…" he coughed. His throat felt ragged.

"You've been asleep for three days!" Winry thrust a glass of water into his hands, "Here, drink this."

"Why am I here?" he asked thickly.

"Uh...because you were sick?"

"Yeah, I know I was sick! But I mean - the house -"

"Mustang," Winry grinned, "He came with supplies and doctors and stuff. People who were especially sick were brought here. Closest thing we could convert to a hospital. Wait here, they'll want to know you're awake!" she dashed back out the door. Izumi came to sit on the end of Ed's bed.

"She looks tired. Like she does when she does an automail rush order," Ed said, rubbing his eyes.

"I don't think she slept since they brought you here," Teacher said quietly, "They were afraid the fever was going to set behind your eyes and cause you to go blind. She went between you and Granny and just about everyone else here, helping the doctors."

Ed was silent for a few moments.

"How is Granny?" he finally asked.

"She's woken up but they think it'll be a week before she's completely better," Teacher looked at him sideways, "How are you feeling?"

"Every inch of my body aches, now that you mention it," he stretched and winced, "And my head feels like it's going to explode. But otherwise, fantastic." Teacher chuckled, then placed a hand on Ed's shoulder,

"Well, I'm glad to hear it. You had us worried," she hesitated, "You had me worried." She pulled him into a hug, leaving Ed a little shocked at this unorthodox display of affection from his usually tough as nails teacher.

"Uh...thank you, Teacher."

"Fullmetal! Look who finally decided to grace us with his presence." Mustang strode into the room followed by Riza and Winry. He crossed his arms over his uniform, which Ed noticed had several more bars and badges since the last time he'd seen him.

"Oh great, Colonel Jackass," but he couldn't help the grin that spread across his face as he grasped Mustang's arm in greeting. Riza ruffled his hair and he made a good show of being annoyed, but was secretly pleased.

"I trust you're feeling better?" Mustang said.

"I think if I hear that question too many more times I'll kick whoever asks it."

"Sounds like he's back to normal," Winry smirked.

"But what about everyone else?" Ed asked, looking around, "Is everyone else getting better? What about the water main, was it contaminated? Has it been fixed yet?" He started to get up but Winry shoved him back down.

"Everyone is fine. You and Granny were among the last to get past the fever. It ran its course, and as for the water main…" Winry glanced to the door, "it's been taken care of."

Al entered, his steps slow and a little jerky but unaided by his crutch. He smiled sheepishly, "Hello, brother."

"Al! You...you fixed the water?"

"What, did you think I couldn't do it?" He drew up himself up indignantly.

"No - but I mean, that must've been really complicated and the amount of water combined with the- that must've - wow." He stared at his brother.

"It wasn't too hard," Al scratched the back of head, glancing out the window, glowing from the praise.

Mustang quickly turned discussion in another direction, filling Ed in on details he'd missed in the last few days until Riza rolled her eyes and reminded him that Edward didn't need a briefing on the subject since he wasn't the one who had to make the report and hurried him away to finish the paperwork he'd been putting off. Izumi went to go find Sig soon afterward.

"I should probably go see if the doctors need help," Winry got up but Ed caught her hand.

"Winry," he cleared his throat and felt his cheeks flush a little, "You...you are your parent's daughter in every way." She tilted her head, both curious and a little astonished. "I just mean -" he was very red now, "You're the kindest person and I know and - and yeah." He quickly let go of her hand and turned to look out the window. Al's mouth twitched as he tried to look anywhere but at the two of them.

Winry squinted at him, concerned, "Did that fever damage your brain after all?" She shook her head but then said, "Thank you, Ed. We'll go home soon." As soon as she was out of earshot, Al said,

"Real smooth."

"Don't laugh at me!" Ed said hotly.

"I wouldn't dream of it, brother," Al sniggered.

"I was just giving her a simple compliment!"

"Oh is that what that was? 'And yeah?' Maybe work on your delivery for next time."

Ed seethed silently as Al laughed.

"I see you didn't bring your crutch," Ed observed, mostly to change the subject.

"I don't need it as much now," Alphonse looked down at his legs.

"Did you really transmute the entire reservoir?" he asked seriously. Al nodded and fidgeted with his shirt sleeve. "Al...that's incredible. How?"

"You're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad? You practically saved the town!"

"No I didn't. I just thought that since...you know, you can't do alchemy anymore. I thought maybe…" He trailed off and looked down. Ed leaned forward and put a hand on his brother's shoulder.

"Alphonse. I'm living with the consequences of my pride. When I had alchemy, I thought I was above being human; I was more than that. I relied on it for everything, I thought it held all the answers, I thought...and without it, I've been reminded that I was never anything more than human. It's enough to be human and if it isn't, I have to learn to make it enough. I'm not jealous, Al."

"You say that like you're trying to convince yourself," Al said quietly.

Ed ran a hand through his very messy hair, "Well, I'll work on it. I do mean it."

"Alright, brother."

"How'd you figure it out?" Ed asked, leaning forward slightly. Al recognized the excitement his eyes as one he saw every time his brother heard or saw something he didn't understand. But instead of explaining all the calculations and theories he'd puzzled out, Al simply said,

"People needed help. You needed help. I figured it was my turn to do the rescuing. And I'm glad you're ok." He wrapped his brother in a hug, and in his fever-weakened state, Ed could do nothing to stop him. Finally, Al let go.

"Can we go home now?"

"Let's." Al helped him stand and offered him a hand. Ed realized it was the same one he'd injured, but the bandages were gone and the shallow cuts were looking much better. He leaned on Al, feeling rather lightheaded.

"How much begging will it take Winry to make me an apple pie?" Ed asked as they moved out of the antechamber, through the main room, around the few occupied beds that were left.

"Probably not much if you pull the 'I almost died' card. Though I dunno, you seem to use that one a lot. Might not work anymore."

They made it to the door. Riza and Mustang were arguing outside, Sig and Izumi were walking arm in arm down the road. Winry looked up from where she was organizing medical supplies on the front steps and waved.

"Hey Al."

"What?"

"I think we're going to be ok." Riza shoved a stack of papers into Mustang's arms, who sighed dramatically, Sig leaned over and kissed his wife, Winry laughed at the sight of Den bounding down the road, splashing in the few puddles still left from the storm.

"You know something, Ed? I think I actually believe you."


End file.
